I have never been a big fan of video games. Prior to graduation, we owned an Atari 2600, I had friends with Colicovision, Panavision, Nintendo, Sega, and a host of other consoles, but they never thrilled me. I played Donkey Kong, Pacman, Ms. Pacman, Mario Brothers, Mike Tyson Punch Out, and the one that had me hooked for a while, Contra! No matter the latest game to come out, no matter how popular they were, I only played Tetris on the regular.
With the introduction of these tablets into the prison system, (the most progressive, forward thinking, initiative GDC have ever ventured into,) we are afforded the added distraction from the mundane daily activity of prison life. A lot of inmates welcome the distractions as it prevents them from facing the weight of the problems against them when it comes to fighting their case. There are games available on the tablets, but I try not to play any of them as playing them leaves my mind with the time to wonder, and when wondering starts, I begin to think of my delima.
Thinking too much often find me shedding tears which under normally circumstances would not be shed. I’m not talking about a few drops, but long streams of tears that most people only shed at funerals. I often wonder, does playing video games subconsciously open a hidden floodgate in my soul? Will there be a study that comes out in the future that correlates video games with depression? Does that explain why grown men in the late 20’s and 30’s spend hours in front of a console lost in a fantasy world of sports, gruesome violence or other form of escapism?
The tears are not intentional, but I think that I play those games as a way to escape my own problems, but in my attempt to escape them, I come full circle and am forced to confront the severity of my situation. No one knows what it’s like to have to stand against a 9 foot tall bear and fight for your life with your bare hands, and going against a rigged, racist system like the Georgia criminal justice system a David and Goliath kind of match up. I think Goliath have been winning for too long, maybe it’s that realization that has involuntary tears flowing out of my eyes.